I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Sext me about skeletons
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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