I cannot find my penis.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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