the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
