do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
