when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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