I didn't shave. On purpose
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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