Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
