His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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