Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
