Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize