Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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