Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Randomize