pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Houston, we have a blender
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
