weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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