NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
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