Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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