Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
