I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize