Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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