I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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