No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
