i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
