plz talk dirty to me
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
