A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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