he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
