But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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