how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
