if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
