i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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