I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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