I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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