she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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