Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
