she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
