Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Randomize
