I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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