Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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