Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize