So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
