So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
