I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
