I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
you didnt know i had herpes?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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