Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
