We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
