I skipped work to stalk him.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Randomize