i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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