Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She's better-looking with the mask on.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
