How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize