I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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