there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
