no. you can't hotbox the world.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
