All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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