I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
