Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
