i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
