were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Randomize