Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
