wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
