Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize