We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
