I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
