you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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