Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
