i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
