ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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