just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize