she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i think i just lost a toe
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