So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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