You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
