with your own penis?
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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