The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
