just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
