when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize