found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
